Life Explained in 10 Sentences

 

Your life is a series of highs and lows, successes and failures, wins and losses, beginnings and endings. 

 No human being gets a free pass from some degree of suffering. 

You may feel as though your suffering is much heavier than someone else's, but suffering is suffering. 

The story changes, but the pain is the same. 

Don't for one second believe that your life requires a higher threshold for pain than someone else's. 

We all have a cross to carry. 

How you choose to carry yours, is your choice. 

You can drag it in self-pity, or you can build strength and resilience through the hardships. 

Life gives you exactly what you need practice in.

It doesn't necessarily get easier; you just get better.

My Dad and Dementia

He still remembers my name,

Until He won't.

He still remembers my face,

Until He won't.

He still recognizes my kids,

Until He won't.

He still answers the phone,

Until He won't.

Dad,

I still remember your name,

As 'the Best'.

I still remember your face,

Watching me skate from the stands.

I still recognize your voice,

Calm whenever mine isn't.

I still call the house,

Hoping you answer.

Until the day you won't. 

I was advised to mourn you,

Years ago.

Your mind left your body,

'Grieve now', the psychic advised.

But you're still here, Papa. 

You still remember me. 

Every time you say my name, 

the worry of being forgotten eases. 

What matters is not that you don't remember,

But that I forget all that you have been.

I promise, I won't,

Until the day, my mind goes too.

Papa, te voglio bene, ma proprio bene assai

If I Die Today, Clap

 If I die today,

I hope the forecast is sunny with a soft breeze

The kind of weather where you can tan comfortably.

If I die today,

make it easy on my people.

I don't want anyone to cry but clap instead.

Ok, you can clap in tears.

Clap for my courage.

Clap for my devotion to my kids.

Clap for choosing myself at the hardest times.

Clap for my cool Instagram videos I loved editing.

Clap for my postpartum recovery and the work I did on my insides.

Clap again for my courage.

Clap for my good taste in sneakers.

Clap for my achievements that meant nothing to you,

But everything to me

Like the time I was afraid to fly and flew to Paris all alone

Or the time Miss Zannis told me my speech wasn't good enough and I still enrolled in the competition

And won.

Please stop crying,

Clap instead.

Clap for that time I drove alone to an undisclosed location for a 3-day retreat 

To hug complete strangers, fall in love with myself, and do it all in French.

Keep clapping for my courage.

Clap every time you see feathers on your path

That's me dropping some angel dust.

If I die today,

I know I tried my best, especially at my worst

I'm sorry I hurt you and hope you learned from it.

If I die today,

I have absolutely no regrets because every experience helped me grow,

God gave me all I could handle.

If I die today,

Talk to me along your walks

I'll be listening through the breeze brushing your cheek.

If I die today,

Clap for me

I did the best I could 

And loved life mostly because of the hardships.

If I die today,

I'm grateful I got a shot at this wild and precious life.

Thank you Mom and Dad

For bringing me into this world and loving me when it was hard.

If I die today,

At least I saw God in everyone's eyes

How cool is that?!

If I die today,

You better still be clapping

When you hear your favorite song, see your favorite person, taste a pumpkin spice latte, touch the sand, smell the beach.

If I die today,

Do something on my bucket list

Like go to Bali, do yoga, buy colorful bangles.

If I die today,

Promise me you'll take all my good and share it with others

But clap for my bad too

It's part of who I am

So clap, but not as loud.

If I die today,

Be grateful you have more time

To make the best of it.

If I die today,

Take care of my kids

All they need is Love and a lift to a friend's house.

If I die today,

Place my ashes with my Nonna Maria

She was the closest person to God

And our names are MM

So Marisa Minutes will live on.

If I die today,

Eat the friggin cake if it brings you joy.

Keep clapping

I'm almost done.

Remember the longest relationship you will ever have in this lifetime,

Is the one with Yourself

Pls Love the Fuck out of it

Just like I did.

Divorce: No Love is Ever Wasted

Thackeray said, "To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose is the next best."

Someone, somewhere is either contemplating divorce, going through divorce, or healing from divorce.

I'll begin by saying: You're brave if you stay. You're brave if you leave.

The ebb and flow of life can be brutiful (brutal and beautiful combined).

You fall in love (beautiful), get married (beautiful), have a family (beautiful), and then it changes. 

It breaks. (Brutal)

You break. (Brutal)

He breaks. (Brutal)

The kids break. (Brutal)

And you're trying to hold all these broken pieces with overwhelming emotions and trembling hands. You're angry that you suppressed your feelings for too long. You're scared to do life alone. You feel guilty for hurting so many people. You're ashamed for breaking your family. You're anxious for the future. And you're grieving the death of the love and life you created together.

This is the brutal part, or the messy middle, as I prefer to call it.

It's hard, especially if you have children. Don't listen to anyone that says it isn't because they've forgotten the hardness of it all. I will not tell you that as good as I may be today, I didn't break multiple times along the way. I will however tell you, that I know for sure you can make beautiful things with broken pieces.

Honoring yourself sometimes means you have to be the bad guy in someone else's story.

I cannot reiterate enough that it's all hard. Staying and hurting, is hard. Leaving and hurting people you love, is hard.  The decision to separate becomes less about the rejection of your spouse and more about the rejection of your truth. The question is, which is harder: hurting yourself or hurting others? Choose your hard brave. 

To love is to truly live the human experience. We are an amalgamation of every relationship we have ever had - the good, the bad, and the indifferent, all of which serve our highest good. Despite the heartbreak from it all, everything unfolded for my growth and evolution. Trust that whatever path you're on - stay or go, the messy middle, or healing; it's all strengthening your relationship with yourself. 

Ending a marriage taught me invaluable lessons; the greatest one being that no love is ever wasted.